You Have NO Right To Your Hate


I don’t understand your hate.
My heart is hurting…screaming for the families in Orlando. The violence. The hate. I will never pretend to understand what is going on in our society.
All because someone lives a different life…people hate, people kill. Senseless. This is our world? Our country? Shameful. And, as far as I’m concerned the people who have the hateful thoughts are JUST as much to blame as the killers. The ones who just voice their hate through jokes, and casual conversation with their friends, The people who glare, point and make snide comments in public are cultivating this horrible scene. Watering it like a seed. They are NO better.
My son was not at this nightclub, he is Gay and lives in Orlando, and I am forever grateful. The few hours that I couldn’t reach him this morning were unbearable. For 120 minutes I thought my son, my baby, was dead. I now know what an eternity feels like.
I know that I speak for all of the Mothers, the Fathers, of Gay sons and daughters. You never stop worrying. NEVER. Your heart is constantly braced for THAT phone call. These are our children. Our babies. Our hearts.
You have NO right to your hate. NO RIGHT.
I will say many prayers today for those families who are grieving today. And, I I’ll continue to say more prayers for those who face this persecution for simply living their lives.
‪#‎prayingfororlando‬ ‪#‎stopthehate‬

Luck! What a Bunch of Poppycock!


Luck: noun; 1.
success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one’s own actions.

What a bunch of POPPYCOCK!!

I overheard a conversation between two Mommas the other day; OK, I may have been intentionally listening (the tables were really really close ). One Momma was apparently having trouble with a kid, and she asked her friend, “How do you do it? What is your secret? Why are your kids SO GOOD?”. Without pausing or coming up with a thoughtful answer she said, “I guess I’m just LUCKY.” LUCKY!! WHAT??! COME ON WOMAN! I wanted to shake her!!! But, remember I wasn’t listening.  What the Hey Day does LUCK have to do with raising children?

Well, I’ll remind you…Zip, Zilch, Nada, Nothing!! Raising children is just like everything else we pour our heart and soul into. Your marriage, your job, your hobbies, your friendships, your family…you name it….they all take hard work, compassion, love, and the Grace of God. I doubt any of these relationships happened by “chance”. So, why on Earth would you give credit to LUCK when You are the one who works for these wonderful things. In this life I truly believe that we Get what We Give, and that translates into all of our relationships. So, the next time someone asks you about your marriage, your kiddos, or your job…pat yourself on the back, and Thank the Good Lord because that’s where the credit is due, Sweet Friend.



My Second Set of Kids Are My Favorites

Second Set.  You know what I’m talking about right?  Two sets of kids; two totally different age groups.  Awe, yes.  My life got easy with the first three kids, so I boarded the Crazy Train and decided to have a set of twins.  And, it just so happens that my second set of kids are my favorites.

Well, not exactly…at all. Please don’t roll your eyes and join the hate parade. Let me explain. My first set of children….that sounds odd… Like I keep them in a china cabinet or something. At the house we actually call them “the boys”. The boys are 24, 22, and 20, and they are all from my first marriage. I had the boys when I was 22, 24, and 26….so so young.  Young and slightly stupid.

Having kids was something I had always wanted; there was no question.  I adored them but, the timing could not have been more wrong. My marriage was falling apart from day one (as in walking down the aisle), so I was essentially a single mom.  I was absolutely crazy about my boys, but teaching full time, and pulling all of the weight at home;  I look back now and wonder if I was the best Mom I could’ve been.  Do they remember that I was so tired in the evenings that it was all I could do to feed them, bathe them, and put them to bed?  Do they hold a grudge because we had to shop all of the bargains, and only eat take-out on special occasions?  Or, do they think of our trips to McDonald’s “only” on Friday nights as a special treat?  They all laugh and say, “do you remember when Mom cut our hair?” It was a disaster….We have the Chrismas cards to prove it.

John and I married when the boys were 10, 8, and 6….He has treated them as his own since day one.  Our “second set” of kids were born a couple of years later…twins. They are 11 now, and for some reason are still referred to as “the babies”.  The babies have a different Mom than the boys did.  A happier Mom, a more relaxed Mom.  A Mom who plays games and goes to the park. A Mom who snuggles in bed, and brings up that extra glass of water.  A Mom who can breathe now.  For these reasons I began thinking that the boys might have the impression that my second set of kids is my favorite. Man, I hope that’s not the impression I give off…it certainly looks that way, though.

Here’s the argument. Having kids when you’re older certainly has its perks…at least for me and John it has been easier. I’m in a loving relationship with a man who shares the load 50/50. Being a stay at home mom….this just happened in past four months, and I gotta tell ya I’m ok with it. Honestly, my hat and everything else is off to working Moms. I don’t know how you do it all.  We can breathe a little easier now that we are somewhat established in our careers; I’m speaking of John of course. In your twenties….speaking from personal experience this was a true struggle. When your older you also lose that desire to do it all….so you miss late a night concert.  How about a movie night at home instead?

second set of kids

My 5 Loves

Bottom line…are my second set of kids my favorites? Heck no!  But, having kids in my thirties has been easier. I wasn’t ready in my twenties. My marriage wasn’t ready…truth be told I wasn’t ready for my marriage in my twenties.  Thirty something me was much wiser and more secure when it came to marriage and kids. And, now that I’m in my forties…let’s just say this IS the Mom you want. I swear they can talk me into just about anything now. You’ll be relieved to know that I have a wonderful relationship with all five of my kids, and that the boys don’t feel slighted.  Each one of them realizes that life is real and that the struggles we are faced with make us stronger.  In our house we have a rule based on my experiences: No one gets married until they are at least thirty.



Fall in Love and Get Married. Who does that?

Married Texas gay rights love

Newlyweds, Suzanne Bryant and Sarah Goodfriend (photo: Austin American Statesman)

Crazy! Fall in love and get married. Who does that? These two lovely ladies, Sarah Goodfriend and Suzanne Bryant, were married yesterday in Austin, Tx.  Married!! Well, why not, they’ve been together for almost 31 years, and have two teenage daughters.   31years!! ~I can only hope John and I are that lucky.~

Men & Women get married in Vegas after not much more than a shot of tequila & and a game of craps).  I know you are thinking, but wait, do we allow this in Texas? Sarah and Suzanne’s is case of special circumstance and was rushed through because Sarah is suffering from ovarian cancer. Surely, you would also like to remind me that “marriage is a union between a man and a woman”.  Save it. I’ve heard it.  We’ve all heard it.  My own personal belief is this:  On judgement day I refuse to believe that the God I love and serve is going to turn anyone away for the act of loving another human being. It’s just that simple.  (I went ahead and included a little back up for my reasoning. )

John 13:34-35

34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Now, here is the part that kept me up all night….Enter, Gov. Greg Abbott and Atty. Gen. Ken Paxton….boots on, guns ablazin….ready to take down these two women. Two threatening women I might add…whatever. Abbott and Paxton are of course vowing to do all in their power to void their marriage license. Sitting up in bed; scratching my head wondering WTH!! What is wrong with our Government? As usual they’ve chosen to tackle the issue of LOVE.  Have they lost their minds?  It just makes no sense to me. Have they been watching the news? Surely, they’ve heard of ISIS. How could they not…ISIS with its army of over 200,000. ISIS who lines up Egyptian Christians and beheads them on the beach for simply being Christian. Don’t we have an imminent war to fight? Maybe the Government of this great Nation should reevaluate their fears, because I’m pretty sure the threat is NOT the LBGT community…I For one am not afraid of Sarah and Suzanne.  FYI, I do have a Gay son, and he is as loving as they come.  Marriage is about LOVE. Why would you fight that?



Hug Your Inner Child

We all have this person who has been with us since the very beginning. Through thick and thin.  I mean they have seen it all.  I’m not talking about our girlfriends, or our partners, or even a parent.  I’m speaking of the child within us…the witness to it all; the good, the sad, and sometimes brutal times of our past.  They are still deep inside of us.  Watching, waiting, keeping a close eye.

For a lot of you that person is the one that played four square, fought with siblings, went on family vacations, dated a football player, and did well in school.  But, for so many of us this person hides the key to so many secrets of our past…holding them safe from our heart.  Always, standing strong so that we can face the day without pain.  I don’t know about you, but I trudged through my youth with heavy boots on struggling to lift them at times…making mistakes or suffering wildly through the pain depending on what was thrown at me that day.  She holds this pain still.  I think of my inner child often.  I worry about her, and I wish it could have been different, safer, happier, normal.  She saw so very much, and lived through so much more.

It’s your turn to take cake of your Her…Grab Her, and hug Her.  Hold her tight.  Love her with all of your might!  She has always been there for you doing the best she could do.  She’s the reason you are here today…the past is the past, and it’s all going to be OK.